Friendships can change lives forever

Capitol Theatre - Aberdeen, SD photo taken by Troy McQuillen

It is interesting how we discover friendship. We might not often look for it or even pick our friends. When we are in need they present themselves. We never know who will reach out and become important to us.

When I was a kid, I loved the theater. I started in community theater when I was about 15, but then when I was 19, I became extremely uncomfortable.

I was in the community play in Stratford and the actress I spent most of my time onstage with committed suicide. I didn’t know her well outside of the theater, but acting together creates a connection with one another. The people who stand on stage together put their trust in each other. We all succeed together or we fail together.

Spending most evenings together for several weeks tends to bring people closer, especially when we depend on each other for success. The rest of the cast went on with the remaining performances a few weeks later with another actress taking her part, but it was no longer enjoyable to hear people in the audience laugh. It was a relief when I didn’t have to think about it anymore.

A few months later, I walked into the Capitol Theater determined to audition for the musical Gypsy and become involved in theater again, but confronted with the thoughts of my last experience, I sat in the back under the balcony and watched while the others visited. I felt like I couldn’t stand up in front of these people. I watched until someone walked in and sat down next to me. That person was Tom Kelly. I didn’t know what he did; I had never met him or seen him before. But he started talking to me. When he asked if I was going to try out, I shrugged, and he encouraged me to go up there. He started to tell me about the play and what he thought it would be like.

I don’t know what made him sit next to me in the theater full of his friends. But it made the difference – whether I tried out or walked out. A few days later, I found out I got a part. I was excited and, at the same time, wondered if I could get back on stage. Fortunately, Kelly was the actor I would be on stage with most. We spent every practice helping each other, and he was able to help get me through it. Months later, when Kelly passed away, I couldn’t believe I’d known him for less than a year. I’d felt like I’d known him my entire life.

Of all the people I could’ve sat with at auditions or shared the stage with, I ended up with a drama teacher. I learned more about theater in that month than ever before. When I was on stage with him, I didn’t worry about failing because he was there to help me succeed. I knew I could count on him when I felt the most vulnerable.

Tom Kelly showed me that we will not be remembered for our professions or by the titles we earn. We will be remembered for our acts of kindness toward others. We often won’t know how our acts affect others, but the person we help won’t forget.